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EthicsErections and Massage
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The hardly ever talked about reoccurring issue.
I am frequently asked about how to deal with being asked for sexual ("happy ending") massage requests and dealing with a male on the table who acquires an erection during a massage.
I am not the one to really talk about this as I have only experience a male client getting a full erection once in my 20 years of practice. The moment I noticed it, the fire alarm bell sounded and I announced that I would leave the room to check to see if we had to evacuate or not. When I came back, everything was back to normal. (This is a true story!)
I also live in Seattle where the difference between legitimate massage and one of those kind has long been known by most of the general public. I have only gotten a few messages from people asking for a "full body" massage and you could tell what they were asking for. I just never returned their call.
I also have a hard time being female and understanding the inability for a man to control his body. I can understand maybe a young boy who doesn't know how to control it yet.
Many try to explain the male erection on a massage table as a natural part of the relaxation response. I know all about the biology of that but then what happens to a man when he can't get an erection when he wants to (besides having a physical issue)? What part of his brain has shut off?
Being female, I often think that men getting erections during a massage has more to do with what they are thinking about or expecting but I have been told by men that they have no control over it. If a guy goes into a massage nervous about getting an erection is he going in expecting or dreaming about the possibilities? Is there more to it?
Men are often anxious about getting a massage because they are afraid that they won't be able to control themselves and an erection will happen.
I think it is a result of the cross-wiring in our society that is caused by
all of the marketing ads selling cars with beautiful women. Anne Stirling
Hastings writes about cross wiring in her book Body and Soul: Sexuality on the Brink of Change
Getting an erection is also different from taking it to the next level of being sexual and asking or expecting something be done to relieve the erection. This crosses the line and is called prostitution. Males expecting this from a massage therapist are at the wrong place. I personally do not think that erections while on the massage table are appropriate.
But with that said - erections happen. There are some things you can do to stop them like do really deep tissue work somewhere on their body. Always make sure men are draped properly and tell them to leave their underwear on.
For more information:
Discuss erections on bodywork online forum
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