Asking for what you want
Asking for what you want is one of the most interesting concepts and process and is what I think to be the key to the “Law of Attraction.” or basically for getting what you want.
What happens is that so often our fears get in the way of asking for what we want. There is also this expectation people have of thinking the other person will and should read our minds. They should just know what we want. It is the core of my theory about the “code of the caretaker‘ - we do for others what we so desperately need for ourselves. We set aside ourselves to take care of others.
It comes from the many years of asking for what you want and not getting it or being rejected or abandoned. How often we ask for what we want without really directly asking and then we retreat when we don’t get it?
Expecting people to read your mind is one of the ways we communicate in code. We do something for someone else hoping they will do the same for us.
We will complain about things.
“There is too much competition or the economy is bad.”
We do the same thing for someone else that we hope someone will do for us.
Calling to ask someone how they are when it is you who have something to say or communicate to that person.
Asking or saying what we need through asking the other person what they need?
Asking “Are you mad at me?” when it is you who are mad at the other person or the other really good one - “Do you want to talk about it?”
These are all really different forms of projection -seeing in others what is really in ourselves.
So asking for what you want as far as what you want in a massage client and massage practice is the basis for building a successful and rewarding practice.
First you have to know what it is that you truly want and take it step by step clearing up the “Yeah, buts” and self talk that you have that keeps you from asking for what you desire. Often people say they don’t know what they want and that is often just fear talking. They do know what they want but just are too afraid to acknowledge it. Discovering what you want is a process of uncovering the layers of doubt and self talk that has accumulated over the years. It is sometimes a process of trying different things and just finding out that you don’t want that. It is a matter of taking small steps in asking for what you want until you trust yourself enough to take bigger steps.
Dealing with the pain of rejection or abandonment and taking responsibility for your actions is part of the process. Taking responsibility doesn’t mean that you are wrong as some people may think. It is about saying “this is happening in my life as a result of my choices” and understanding that it isn’t good or bad - it just is and making the necessary changes to create something different for yourself.
It is standing up for yourself which requires building your self esteem enough so that you have the courage to ask for what you want. It requires working through the layers of self doubt and being easily influenced by the critical minds that surround you.
Marketing a massage practice or any other business for that matter, is really just about communicating what you want. If you are doing massage all it is really is letting people who want massage about what you do so they can choose whether or not to use your services. Knowing clearly what you want as far as a practice or job, starts with knowing yourself.
Peer supervision groups are support groups for professionals in the helping professions to help you deal with the issues that come up around asking for what you want.
I am offering teleclasses on the topic of creating and running your own peer supervision group. (and if in Seattle area - in person classes) To find out more see www.massagepracticebuilder.com
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