www.thebodyworker.com

I don’t know if it is just me or if it’s my writing or my sites, but I can’t tell you the number of struggling massage therapists who contact me telling me how much they are struggling to build a massage practice. I know I struggled for most of my career until I started writing and creating websites and making money from doing that.

With so much information out there like all of the books and programs and articles and resources - how couls anyone really be struggling? What is it that makes the difference between someone who struggles along day to day as a massage therapist and one who is highly successful? And then I hear so many massage therapist saying this unbelieveable statement

It isn’t about the money

So why are you then driving yourself around and around in circles, beating yourself up because you don’t have enough clients to make ends meet? If money isn’t important why are you working two jobs in addition to trying to build a practice and working for free or working low paying jobs in massage therapy just to pay the rent? If money wasn’t so important why are you charging for your massages at all?

And then there are those massage therapists complaining about things like “our school didn’t have an externship - that would have guaranteed me a job in massage’ or ‘the insurance industry isn’t paying me what I was told they would’ or my employer just takes advantage of me and only pays me $15 an hour when I deserve so much more. Then there are the “I told them everything I knew about massage and they still wouldn’t get a massage or I gave them all the exercises to do and they didn’t want to do them.”

The reason why so many massage therapist fail to build a successful business has more to do with their beliefs and the ego. Your ego is the unconscious part of you - it is all of your beliefs that are really running the show and creating the struggle for you. Your ego is telling you that you aren’t worthy of charging what you are worth. It is the one who keeps complaining of all of the things outside of yourself- it’s the school’s fault, it’s the economy’s fault - it isn’t your fault! Actually it isn’t really your fault. It is a result of your early childhood upbringing where your beliefs about yourself were created. While it isn’t about blaming parents and caregivers - it is about becoming more conscious of these beliefs that were created at such an early age. The way to get in touch with your beliefs is about getting in touch with what you are feeling. What are you actually feeling the second before you complain about something else as the cause of your struggling? That is where the heart of getting out of the struggling lies! In feeling the pain, grief, saddness. Those are the feelings of the ego. Whenever you are feeling anything but love, joy and happiness you can know it is the work of the ego.

So how does one release the hold the ego has on you ? Just acknowledging the fact that you know it is your ego is the first part. But sometimes it takes time to realize that. It may be a few days later and you can say “oh there is was the other day when I was complaining that I didn’t have any clients”. The more you can become aware of the fact and practice becoming aware then one day you will be about to complain or try to give someone advice and you’ll notice that it is the ego trying to cover up a feeling and you may even be able to just feel the feeling first without having to act on it.

If we are complaining that our businesses are slow because of the economy or because we think that people just don’t want to take responsibility for themselves we can know it is the ego sending us a message. We can begin to challenge our beliefs about ourselves and learn that what we see in others or complain about is really a reflection of a part of ourselves. Somewhere inside what you see in others is really what is going on inside of you. Is it true? is what Byron Katie asks in her book “Loving What is: Four Questions that can change your life”. Is it true that it is the economy to blame for your slow business? 100% true beyond a doubt, beyond anything else and is your business slow totally 100% because of the economy? (or could it be because you didn’t market your business or do the things you need to do?)

For more resources:

Why we fail?

Popularity: 14% [?]

3 Comments »

I have a few people email me about making money online. It is really hard to convince people that all they really need is a Site Build it! Website - no matter what kind of business they want to start or already have. I have been telling people for years and the problem is that there is just too much information to read and understand and when that happens it has a way of bringing up so much fear in people.  The internet such an amazing medium to be taken advantage of.  I am always so surprised to hear that  people still don’t have websites for their massage business or to make money just sharing what they know that is of value to others.

Now there isn’t anything to be afraid of. You don’t have any more excuses that you don’t have enough time or don’t know what to do a site on. Site Build it! has just released their new Sitesell Services team of advanced website builders who will take you step by step through the whole process at any level of support that you need. They help you research and plan and design a basic starter 10 page website for $1599 plus a $45 monthly fee. That is quite a bit more than just the $299 a year but if you get easily overwhelmed just reading my blog about websites or really don’t have the time but want to start creating additional streams of income or even to make a living online, and just want more personalized attention Sitesell Services is a great place to start.

If you want to try it alone and don’t need to get rich overnight and understand that SBI! is a process and long term investment ordering through the spring sale which is buy one SBI ! for $299 and get the second one for $100 which will give you two sites -one for your massage practice or school and one to create a new online business.

There are so many ways to make a living online:

• Selling an Ebook that you write on a specific topic
• Selling other people’s Ebook through affiliate programs like clickbank.com
• Selling hard goods of your own
• Selling hard goods of others (find companies to fill your orders)
• Become an infopreneur just making money with ad programs like Google Adsense and other pay per click programs that pay you when people click on their ads on your sites. (This is my main source of online income which is more than half my total income.)

So how much can you make? It depends on your keywords, motivation and persistence but as much as you want really.

How soon will you be making money? When I started my site www.massagetherapycareers.com back in about 2002, I wrote an ebook and was planning on selling it online. I started selling ebooks within a few months of buying the site.

What are you waiting for? What excuse do you have? Your excuses really are a great way to look at your thoughts and beliefs and as Oprah and Eckhart Tolle are teaching - your ego. but if you aren’t reading “A New Earth” and/or taking the online class you might not understand my mention of the ego. The ego is just basically the unconscious part of ourselves. That’s a whole other post.

So if you are ready to start engaging and creating your life, it is probably time for SBI!

Popularity: 15% [?]

No Comments »

“A New Earth” is Eckhart Tolle’s book that is now being promoted by Oprah. They are teamed up and offering a free online class that starts on Monday, March 3rd.

When I read “A New Earth” a few years ago when it first came out, I couldn’t put the book down and it became an inspiration for me to continue writing about such things despite many massage therapists not quite getting it that they can build a massage practice using similar principles of becoming more authentic by being present.

So many massage therapists are caught up in knowing more, learning more and doing more and the client usually gets caught in the middle. Part of the problem is how we are trained to ‘fix’ in massage school and our new role with the medical profession requires us to do it even more by reporting on improvements and having treatment stopped when function returns rather than when pain is resolved.

I was at a spa a few weeks ago and overheard a massage therapist in the hallway talking to someone who had just come out of the massage room and telling her how stressed the client was and how much more work the person needed. I could feel the tension in the air. The person who had just gotten a massage was being berated for how much stress they had rather than being honored for who they are. Now I am sure I am reading into things because I don’t know the whole story but it is examples like these or other stories of massage therapists saying things like “I just need to fix their pain” or ‘it is my duty to tell people about mercury poisoning and other possibilities that could be causing their health issues or I don’t feel like I am doing my job.

What “A New Earth” talks about is our roles that we take on to protect ourselves and our egos from suffering and how that creates more. But it is suffering that can free us from our pain and unhappy lives.

The ego is not something that is bad or that we need to get rid of. He says “It isn’t wrong, it is just unconscious” We are alive today because our egos are invested in ourselves. Tolle says that ‘Our egos are just are false self. It is the unconscious part of ourself.” The way to become more conscious is to become more present and aware of our egos.

But awakening from being unconscious is a little like thawing out from having frost bite - it is painful as we start to regain feeling.

A common thing that I often hear from massage therapist that I work with is about how they don’t feel like they know enough to help people. Tolle says this is actually the best place to be. When you can admit you don’t know enough you can realize that you are enough just as you are.

Another way to become aware of your ego is to become aware of what you are feeling in your body. As massage therapists we have the unique opportunity to help people feel their bodies more. ( I actually think this is more important than any specific massage technique or method.) Tolle says “Body awareness not only anchors you in the present moment, it is a doorway out of the prison that is the ego. It also strengthens the immune system and the body’s ability to heal.”

I also so often see massage therapists who become their role thinking that they are the only ones that can help someone and that massage is the end all answer to the worlds problems. I used to think like that when I first started out saying things like ‘if everyone got a massage once a week there would be world peace” (well there might be!) I also hear them complaining about things like working for chiropractors who take advantage of them or not having enough clients because of the economy or whatever the complaint is at the moment. Tolle says that “Complaining is one of the ego’s favorite ways of strengthening itself”. It makes us feel better to complain. And clients come into us complaining about this or that, this work situation or family situation and they come in with their pain and their attachment to their pain.

He talks about roles and how we take on roles to get the needs of the ego met.
How can we as massage therapists learn to become aware of our roles and learn to just be as a massage therapist?

How can we learn to serve and become more present with ourselves and with our clients to help make “A New Earth?”

Popularity: 15% [?]

2 Comments »

Peer Supervision is really a confusing term to understand. For the longest time I fought using the words and tried to call it everything but peer supervision - mastermind groups, mentoring, support groups.

The thing is that the best way to really understand what peer supervision is about is to experience it first hand. Once I participated and understood then I said - yes it is peer supervision.

Of course in my opinion every massage therapist needs to participate in peer supervision groups and I have been thinking about what needs to be done to get it included in legal requirements of becoming a massage therapist - it is that important.

A massage therapist needs peer supervision if they want to become the best massage therapist that they can be. I wrote up some information on my website about who needs peer supervision.

While I think that people who have survived the 5 years in business mark as a massage therapist are drawn to peer supervision more, it can be really helpful for a massage therapist who is still in school or just starting out to get the assistance that they need in setting up and learning to run a massage business. Most people starting out are too focused on things like money and getting clients and think that they don’t need peer supervision. They also don’t really understand articles like “In the Service of Life” or books like “how can I help by Ram Dass. I know I didn’t when I was first starting out and there was no way that anyone could tell me that that was me in the article and book. It isn’t until one has struggled long enough or starts to feel burned out that the seek out peer supervision when it is the exact thing that can help prevent it and help a massage practice flourish.

So I am starting an online peer supervision group that you can read more about at my website - www.massagepracticebuilder.com. It won’t be quite the same as meeting in person because you get so much from hearing people’s voices and seeing people’s physical reaction, but it will be a way that we can start learning and sharing from each other in a much deeper way to help protect the future of the massage profession.

Popularity: 24% [?]

No Comments »

The therapeutic relationship is a very complex relationship that requires that we become more aware of the dynamics of relating to each other. One of the ways is by studying and learning about the Drama Triangle. I wrote about it initially on my website www.thebodyworker.com

It is really the underlying dynamic in most relationships but because of the power differential that occurs in the therapeutic relationship, the drama triangle can be more evident in a client/massage therapist relationship. There are three positions of the drama triangle -the rescuer, the victim and the persecutor. There is usually a combination of them at work in a therapeutic relationship or any relationship for that matter. One position leads to the next. The rescuer can become the persecutor or victim and any combination of roles.

As massage therapists we are often taught to ‘fix’ a clients pain and injuries. Many massage therapists come to the profession wanting to ‘help’ others. Clients come to us looking to be fixed and taken care of. One of the roles on the drams triangle is the rescuer. We think we need to get the client out of pain.

People who are in pain or sick or injured quickly take on the role of the victim -wanting someone to fix the condition for them. This is the basis for modern medicine. Needing to be fixed they will find a rescuer to help them. As massage therapists we often take on the role of rescuer but we can also move into any of the other roles with clients and also within ourselves. Becoming aware of how we rescue (help, fix) is not an easy process. It doesn’t just stop overnight. When the process occurs internally taking on various roles at different times, it is usually can lead to feeling stuck in building a practice or finding a massage job. We blame the economy or bad spa owners for our lack of success.

Rescuers need to rescue to feel good about themselves. They need victims to be successful. A rescuer thinks everyone needs their help even those who are not directly asking for it. Rescuers don’t know how to take care of themselves so they focus on others. Rescuers usually have deep unconscious beliefs about themselves that they are not good enough so they rescue to feel good about themselves. Rescuers see others pain so clearly because they are filled with pain of their own. It easier to help others with their pain instead of addressing their own pain. Rescuers are not usually aware of their own pain or even think that they have any issues to work through. They are so busy helping they can’t see their own pain. They say things like “I just want to fix this psoas” or “if only I knew more anatomy, I could fix this”. It is a very unconscious process meaning that most are not even aware of the dynamics and their own part in each interaction. Rescuing others tells the other person that they are not good enough or smart enough to help themselves. Rescuers often end up underming others and reinforcing the victim stance. It is hurting more than helping. Rachel Remen MD explains this beautifully in her article “In the Service of Life”.

The early child/parent relationship sets us up for the drama triangle with parents often taking on the role of rescuer. The child isn’t old enough, smart enough and needs to be protected from the world. When are early childhood needs aren’t met ( which they rarely are ever totally met even with the best of parenting) we often are left waiting to be rescued. We fear asking for help because we may be further abandoned and hurt. We begin helping others so that they will become dependent on us and not leave us.

The thing is that every person has within themselves the power to find the answers to their health problems, business building problems or whatever they are faced with. You and you alone are your best source of advice if you can only begin to access your true self and listen to yourself. As a massage therapist our role is to be present for others as they uncover their own answers and true self. The thing is that you have to know your own self first before you can do this with a client.

People don’t even become aware of their rescuing habits until it becomes too painful to bear anymore. This is usually when a career in massage comes to an end but it doesn’t have to end if one can find the courage to begin to get off of the triangle.

The way off of the triangle is to start learning to feel the pain of abandonment and/or the pain of not getting one’s early needs met. It means learning to take care of yourself in every aspect of your life from being financially sound, healthy, eating the right things, exercising and taking car of your internal needs for acceptance, love, appreciation and recognition. It is about becoming more aware of what you are feeling when a client arrives at your door wanting to be fixed. Staying present with the feeling means that you can have the feeling and not act on it but use it to become aware of what you are thinking or what belief you have about yourself that is creating this need to rescue.

Changing doesn’t happen overnight. It is a process and it can be supported by getting regular peer supervision sessions with an experience peer.

Popularity: 11% [?]

4 Comments »