July 21st, 2007 Julie Onofrio
After a very interesting discussion on tipping on my Yahoo Group for www.massagepracticebuilder.com I have gathered some of the information to share it here on the blog.
Is it appropriate to tip a massage therapist?
Is it appropriate for a massage therapist to encourage tipping?
Is it appropriate for massage therapists to accept tips? Should you even mention tipping on your website, policies or anywhere in your office? What is the best way to do so if you choose to do this?
Massage Therapists for the most part are licensed health care professionals. We can work in hospitals, clinics and treat injuries in some states. We start our own business and charge what we need to make. Some states still do not recognize that we are health care professionals. There also is considerable question as to whether or not we should be categorized as health care professionals as that encourages more licensing and legislation - more rules and regulations. Massage therapists also work in spas and salons and places like Massage Envy that do not pay the massage therapist a decent wage. They are sometimes only paid when they have a client and paid minimum wage just waiting around for a client.
From a contributor:
The origin of tipping is attributed to sixteenth century England where
containers with the inscription “To Insure Promptitude” were placed in
coffee houses and pubs. Tipping has become a phenomenon that is purely
voluntary and often associated with service that will be received in
the future, empathy for the worker, and compliance with social norms.
According to a research paper co-authored by William J. Boyes,
economics professor at the W. P. Carey School of Business, the number
one reason for tipping is to ensure good service in the future.
Subsequent reasons were, “to be fair to servers”, “to not be
embarrassed” and “because everyone tips”. Leonard Green, an authority
on tipping says that many tips are given as a representation of
judgment as to what constitutes a fair or equitable wage, and part of
what constitutes a fair wage is independent of the amount of the
charge, reflecting compensation for simply being there when necessary.
So with that being said, is it any reason why we don’t tip our
medical providers? We expect good service from them because 1. Their
educated to the degree that they are expected to provide a near
perfect service 2. They are well compensated for their service and 3.
And it is not a social norm to tip your doctor.
Tips in the food service business reflects the low pay of waitresses and waiters and influences the service they provide. They work to get their tips. They have to be nice and do whatever the customer wants to get a good tip. If they don’t - well there goes their income.
Is tipping a reflection of our beliefs about money? Do we charge less than we need to make to try to get clients in the door and then hope for a tip? Do you feel resentful being paid less or not getting tips?
Some spa and salon owners that include tips in the so called ’salary’ may be doing so to avoid paying you more. They may not really understand the value of the massage therapist in building their business. A well paid massage therapist will get more clients in the door than an underpaid one.
What does it mean when you work at one of those spas and the client doesn’t tip? Does it mean you didn’t give a good massage? Does it mean the client couldn’t afford it? ( Who really can’t afford an extra $5-10 really?)
I stopped worrying about tips when I started charging more for my services. I also think that tipping has a way of putting the receiver into the category of waitress/waiter, spas and people who cut hair/nails which is more of a pampering service. These people are usually underpaid for what they do. They need the tips usually to survive and especially waitresses who work their tail off to ‘please’ people sitting at their table so they can get a big tip.
Massage done in the health professional category should be charging an appropriate fee and and making enough money that they wouldn’t ‘need’ tips to survive. Would you work less harder if you thought you weren’t getting a tip? Would you work harder if you knew you were getting a tip?
Does the concept of tipping lead to more sexual advances when people think that if they give a good tip they will get a happy ending?
What is an appropriate way to convey your policy on tipping? Here are some good examples from the discussion:
“Are tips required?” and then answer
with: “No. Although greatly appreciated, tips are not
required.”
‘Clinical clients may not
tip, wellness clients may tip is so inclined, Thank you.’
“Gratuities graciously accepted”
So again there really isn’t any right or wrong about accepting or not accepting tips. It depends on your situation, where you work, how much you charge, how you view yourself - as a health care provider or a service provider and your beliefs about money.
Posted in Changing Your Beliefs, Money issues, Starting Your Practice, The Wealthy Massage Therapist | No Comments »
July 6th, 2007 Julie Onofrio
Not many people will use the words wealthy and massage therapist in the same sentence. I personally like the feel of it and the sound of it.
It felt so perfect for all that I have been writing about and saying. I got the idea from Suze Ormans book/PBS show “Women and Money”. She has a section called “8 Qualities of a Wealthy Woman”. It could be called “Massage therapists and money” and “8 Qualities of a wealthy massage therapist”. Her words really were nothing that I haven’t been saying all along. A successful massage therapist is one who can set clear boundaries for themselves and their business.
The wealthy massage therapist values themselves enough to charge what they need to make a GREAT living.
A Wealthy massage therapist charges for the time and energy they put into doing a massage.
A wealthy massage therapist participates in peer supervision groups to get a better understanding of why they want to help others and take a deeper look at the shadow side of helping.
A wealthy massage therapist takes responsibility for their success and doesn’t blame the economy, their location, the competition or the phase of the moon.
A wealthy massage therapist shares what they know with others and makes money doing so.
A wealthy massage therapist understands that they need money in order to take care of themselves and their families and when this it taken care of they will be in a better place to help others.
A wealthy massage therapist says “It is about the money” and I value myself enough to want the money that I need to take care of myself and my family.
A wealthy massage therapist is in harmony with their deeper or true selves. They think, feel, believe and act in alignment. The have faith and courage in themselves and their ability to start and run a successful business.
A wealthy massage therapist understands the value of their time and energy.
A wealthy massage therapist is in tune with their feelings as much as possible and learns to find the deeper meaning they are providing. They are telling you when you are out of alignment. Anything but love and joy is telling you that you are thinking something that is not true. It is a false core belief that you have acquired to protect yourself at an early age.
A wealthy massage therapist understands that their wanting to help others is a defense mechanism and it keeps them from feeling something that they have long held back.
A wealthy massage therapist creates professional boundaries and sets policies and procedures to support them. They don’t date clients. They don’t become friends with clients. They charge for no shows and late fees. They respect the clients needs for privacy. They keep their appointments on time. If they take time in between clients they charge for that time. They are aware of the possible problems with billing insurance companies and selling retail products to clients.
A wealthy massage therapist….
Posted in Money issues, Recommended Reading, The Code of the Caretaker, The Wealthy Massage Therapist | 2 Comments »
July 1st, 2007 Julie Onofrio
Being wealthy means different things to different people. It is more than just having money - it is having money to take care of yourself and your family in the way that you need.
So many massage therapists say things like “It isn’t about the money” but the fact is that it is. You have to be able to make the money that you need to stay in business. You have to have the money you need to pay your taxes, your bills, your health insurance, your website and other marketing tools, save for vacations, retirement. It will allow you to send your children to the best schools and help your aging parents when they get sick and it will allow you to take care of yourself in the deepest way so that you can care for others more.
When people say things like “it isn’t about the money the chances are that they don’t have any.
The word wealth brings up so many different feelings and is a good opportunity to take a look at your beliefs about wealth. Do you think that people who are wealthy are bad in some way? Do you think things like they must have had to sell their soul to get that money or be shrewd and step on people’s back on the way up?
Wealth is what will allow you to contribute to those who have less.
Defining wealth for yourself requires that you take a look at your beliefs about money and being wealthy. Suze Orman in her book “Women and Money” says
“How we behave toward our money, how we treat our money, speaks volumes about how we perceive and value ourselves. If we aren’t powerful with money,we aren’t powerful period. What is a stake here is not just money- it’s far bigger. This is about your sens of who you are and what you deserve. Lasing net worth comes only with you have a healthy and strong sense of self-worth.”
One of the first things she says to do in her book “Women and Money” is to define what wealth means to you.
Posted in Changing Your Beliefs, Massage Therapy Jobs, Money issues, Peer Supervision, Recommended Reading, Starting Your Practice, The Wealthy Massage Therapist | No Comments »
July 1st, 2007 Julie Onofrio
Your ideal client is one who values massage, your work, your time and show that respect by being on time, paying you what you charge and referring others to your practice.
In oder for others to value you - you must value yourself first and the way to show how much you value yourself is in how you take care of yourself. Taking care of yourself is much more than just taking care of your physical needs. It is taking care of all of your needs - financial, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs. A massage therapist or other person in the helping professions does that best by setting boundaries that support who you are. Part of the process of creating boundaries though requires that you have an awareness of yourself and always be challenging yourself to see yourself in new ways. Often what we think and feel and do is not truly representative of who we are.
Taking responsibility for your self and the choices you make and realizing that you are responsible for the outcome of your choices will help you in understanding yourself better. Blaming others for your issues and challenges may make you feel better up front, but taking the time to take a good look at yourself when challenges arise in your business can help you in learning to set boundaries for yourself.
How much you value yourself is reflected in your actions. If you are working at a spa that does not pay you well or provide the benefits you need but yet you continue to stay there, you are continuing to show that you do not value yourself. You may want to defend yourself for staying in such a place with things like having to support your family and it may seem easier to not change jobs or it may even seem like you really don’t have a choice. The thing is that you do have a choice - but it may be a very difficult choice. Honoring yourself and making the hard choice to follow what you dream of and need may lead to you ending up on the street like the guy in the movie “The Pursuit Of Happyness” but doing what hard always pays off down the line. Your family will respect you more if you make the hard choice and it teaches kids how to respect themselves.
Posted in Changing Your Beliefs, Money issues, The Code of the Caretaker, The Wealthy Massage Therapist | 1 Comment »
June 30th, 2007 Julie Onofrio
The wealthy massage therapists understands the importance of boundaries and the difference between caretaking and caregiving.
One of the major themes of my personal work and writing on my websites is the idea that helping others has a deep shadow side to it- which means there is more to it than just the act of helping. Helping is often filled with hidden agendas all of which are actions that serve to meet our needs for self validation and nurturing. I read a few paragraphs in a book this morning that really laid it out clearly.
From the book “Codependence: The Dance of Wounded Souls by Robert Burney”
We are taught to be caretakers instead of care-givers. That is, to take our self-definition - our ego strength- from what we do for others, rather than giving to others out of our Self as an expression of Love.
This is a matter of focus: Codependence is a disease of reversed focus. If you are taking your self-worth from what you are doing for others, you are going to end up being the victim because they are not going to do what you want them to do in return. (After all I’ve done for you!)
If you are giving as an expression of self-worth then you do not need to get anything in return - and that is when you really get the gifts.
The only way to become a Caregiver rather than Caretaker is to set boundaries for yourself that support you and nurture you. Boundaries are what define you in your relationship with your client. In order to set clear boundaries, you need to know who you really are and what your beliefs and opinions are.
Helping or Caretaking is a defense mechanism that was developed so that you could feel good about yourself under extraneous circumstances. When you set clear boundaries to start taking care of yourself you are able to start letting down your defenses. Taking care of yourself in every way- financially, emotionally, mentally and spiritually - will allow you to feel self -fulfilled and not needing to get validation from others because you will be able to provide your own validation and self worth.
Your people pleasing behaviors (such as working for low wages thinking that is what you need to do to get and keep a client or just letting people slide when they cancel at the last minute) are really showing you your beliefs about yourself and are usually opening an early childhood wound that is covered up by years of suppressing the hurt feelings.
The more you can begin to realize that you do need money to take care of yourself and family and stop sacrificing your needs for that of your client, the more your practice will thrive. It is what Suze Orman talks about in her 8 Qualities of a Wealthy Woman in her book “Women and Money”. She says that when you are able to live by the 8 Qualities, you will have all that you need without much effort which also is really what the law of attraction is all about.
For more on Caretakers/Caregivers:
Psychology for Massage Therapists
The Call to help on
www.massagetherapycareers.com
Posted in Changing Your Beliefs, Ethics, Money issues, Recommended Reading, The Wealthy Massage Therapist | 2 Comments »
