Dating massage clients has in the past been seen as acceptable and almost a way of life when I went to massage school 20 years ago. Teachers dated students. Students dated each other. So it wasn’t anything to think that dating a client would not be acceptable.
As massage becomes more accepted as a profession it is important to start understanding the issues that come up around dating clients. Massage schools are starting to mention it in their classes and some states like here in WA are starting to make it illegal to date clients. In 2006 it was made into a law that massage therapists can not date a client within 2 years of seeing that client. The specifics are outlined in the WAC 246-16-100
The thing is that there are still so many massage therapists out there that don’t think it is a problem to date a client. What happens is that clients come to us for help. That act of seeking help often creates a reenactment of our early relationships with caregivers. They think that they will be taken care of like their parent (s) did or should have. Clients come to us in a vulnerable state and the act of getting a massage which requires that massage clients take their clothes off and let a stranger touch them also creates more vulnerability. To put it simply, clients can easily think and act like we are their parents and they want to recreate that early merging and bonding energy that occurs that makes them feel safe. It happens in other personal relationships in fact all most all relationships. I can’t actually think of an instance where it doesn’t happen.
What happens is that the early feelings are also ‘remembered’ through the touch that is given in a massage which complicates the matter even more. Touch elicits the bodies feelings.
The therapeutic relationship is created where the client can come in and project their early feelings onto the massage therapist. Some of the ways that it is shown is when clients bring you gifts, offer to do things for you, or think that YOU are the cause of their healing. These are what is called signs of transference.
See also Handling Projection
The Massage Therapeutic Relationship
Transference for massage therapists on www.thebodyworker.com
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I was just wondering if you can lose your liscence if you dated a client before the 2 yrs. My ex cheated on me and started dating a guy while she was finishing up her school with massage therapy. She had to do so many clients a month at a student rate. PLease let me know wht the outcome can be if she did this? Thank you
sorry there is no way to know- You will have to talk to a lawyer to see what you can do. You have to find out if it is a law in your state – some make it illegal to date – some don’t.
Julie