How to give a perfect massage
July 14, 2009 by Julie Onofrio
Filed under Massage School Notes, News, Start Your Massage Business
How to give a perfect massage was one of the questions being asked on yahoo answers. Actually what they were asking more specifically was what would be your perfect massage?
I thought it was quite an interesting question since it really couldn’t be answered.
What makes a perfect massage is what is right for each individual. It is a massage that serves their needs at that present moment in time. Each massage is so different and will feel different at different times on different days.
A perfect massage is one where the client gets up off of the table and says “WOW! What did you do to me!” In my 20 some years of getting a massage I have to say I have only had that experience about a handful of times. I get massage almost every week now and have on and off through my years of being a massage therapist. The other times massage has been great, good, fair, poor and really just awful.
A great/good massage will address the areas of pain or discomfort that the client has at that particular day/time.
A fair/poor massage will just sort of smooth over those areas and be relaxing but not really be what you want.
A bad massage is one where the massage therapist is totally out of tune and doing only what they want to be doing. I have had plenty of those too. I go in and say my leg is hurting and they only work on my back and then the last 5 minutes they work on my leg. (That was my first and last Massage Envy experience.) I am sure I have given them too.
What makes for the perfect massage is what each person needs at that exact time. Being able to communicate their needs is often very difficult. Doing a thorough intake and asking them questions in detail can help you start your detective process of trying to figure out what you are going to do. Then as you work being present to your self and what you are feeling you can also learn to assess the situation and work more efficiently engaging the client in their massage process.
The challenge of how to give a perfect massage or what makes for a perfect massage is left to you!
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Julie, thanks for posing this excellent question. I’m of two minds about it.
First, I think that it is always good to reach for the highest standards in everything we do. So it’s a good thing to strive to give that perfect massage. And I agree with what most everyone is saying: There is no formula for a perfect massage. We come closer to perfection the more we listen to our clients, are present to them, and respond to them dynamically. So each massage we give should be different. I also agree with others that it must be a two-way street with the client, a partnership. They need to participate by communicating with us well throughout the session, and by being open to receiving the treatment that we give. I think the themes here are communication and presence—from both parties.
My second reaction to the question is that it holds some danger for us as bodyworkers, by setting a potentially unhealthy ideal. Most of us are “givers” and “people-pleasers.” I think that it’s common for us to try to give that perfect massage—often at our own expense–thus the high rate of injury and burn-out in our profession. So, as we strive for high standards, I think that we need to be careful to balance our own needs with our clients’ needs. We need to be sure that we charge enough, that we use good body mechanics, that we schedule enough time to take care of our physical needs, that we set healthy boundaries and limits and stick to them. And our own needs must come first.
There is a parallel concept in parenting—the concept of “the good-enough mother.” This is in contrast to the “perfect mother” that is often held out as the ideal—an ideal that will practically kill you if you try to attain it. The “good-enough” concept strikes me as holding a lot of wisdom—do your best, but don’t lose your self in the process. An all-giving “perfection” is not a healthy role model to give our children (I would not want my daughter, when she is grown, completely sacrificing herself for her kids–no matter how much I loved my grandkids!)—and I don’t think that it’s healthy to give our clients, either.
As a massage therapist I would also work on the back (and leg) of a person who was expressing leg pain. There are muscles in the back and buttocks that affect the movement of the leg and should be assessed and treated if need be. Communication is very important when giving and recieving a massage and when treating a specific problem.
I find that often people can’t totally communicate about all they need from a massage because they are only aware of the places that hurt the worst, and once those are relieved, the other places reveal themselves. I certainly ask my clients what is going on with them and why they come to see me at any given time, but for most, there is the same old chronic pain that got relieved last time, but they do something to aggravate it and come back again. I notice that I can feel what is going on more easily than they can tell me in words, and my clients almost always walk out feeling much better. Is that the perfect massage? I would certainly like to find another massage therapist who knows how to get to the tight areas and how to releave them, but I haven’t found very many around here (rural Colorado). I certainly agree that the perfect massage is different for different people, as Julie says, and price is not the determining factor. Sometimes I give what I think will be a great massage, and the client is afraid to feel too good. Who knows?
Yes, it’s true, there is no perfect massage…the massage is between the massage thereapist and their client. Is the client ready to receive a massage? Is the therapist ready to give a massage? In a massage session, 50-60 minutes, you are not going to work on a particular area of pain. The focus for 5-10 minutes (if that much, depending on the clients complaint) might be on that area and the areas surrounding it.
There are clients that enter a spa or clinic and not like the looks or personality of the massage therapist, they already have an opinion of the massage they will receive without the experience. I’ve had people give me the once over, no smile but, at the end of the session, just love me. A lot of people don’t specify what they want and you have to go by what you feel. The client’s body will speak to you. You can feel the muscles relax, you can feel the areas of stress.
Maybe your massages at Massage Envy were given by newbies or people who have been giving massage for years and to them it’s just somewhere to collect money. Also, as my daughter told me, after I had a massage that wasn’t that great, “Mom, it’s tougher to please you, you are a massage therapist”. In a way that’s true, as a massage therapist, maybe we expect the ultimate massage. We were all beginners at one time and we all have our preferences. You need to communicate with your clients as we should communicate with our massage therapist. Take one client, they might like the way I work on their neck but they might like the way another therapist works on their arms….Perfection is difficult to achieve but communication gets you closer.
There is no perfect massage. You don’t give them nor does anyone else. What a particular person needs at a particular time might or might not be received at any particular time by the so called best massage therapist in the world.
Millions of people have received millions of massages for almost 10 years at Massage Envy clinics. And just as massages you have given have not pleased 100% of the receipiants 100% of the time neither are 100% of the people 100% pleased everytime at a Massage Envy clinic. The differences are at least 3: 1) they didn’t pay nearly as much for the massage they received at the massage Envy clinic, and 2) they have over 600 other massage Envy clinics they can go to for their next maqssage, and 3) they have their choice of thousands of other massage therapists to choose from unlike just from you. Which choice sounds best to you?
I guess you have never had the perfect massage then. I have had many and I strive to give the perfect massage with every massage because people do pay more. I take classes all the time and do my own personal growth work to be able to hold the therapeutic relationship that happens with clients. Actually most of what I do is listen to what they want.
It just happens that the worst I have had was from ME and that is where you supposedly work but yet you don’t use your real email address or information but that’s OK too. So because they don’t pay as much you think it is better to get a bad massage and pay less rather than paying more and increasing your changes of getting the perfect massage? They can keep paying less and keep getting more bad massages?
I am sure there are some good and even great massage therapists at Massage Envy and other low cost franchises.
While every massage isn’t perfect, it goes from good to bad when the massage therapist totally misses the area of pain that you want worked on or does something to address that pain.
It is just as simple as that. The question was actually a part of massage school training. The person was to describe and create the perfect massage. I forgot to put the link to the question and now I can’t find it.
The perfect massage is what is perfect for that person at that given time.