The biggest thing I had to get over when I started doing massage was to stop taking things so personally. It is hard not to take anything a client says or does personally because the business of massage is so personal.

This comes up when you start thinking that there is competition out there that is trying to take your clients away or when clients want to go to someone else. You can’t solve all of the problems that everyone has. It is healthy for people to try other therapists and it is ok if people stop going to you. It isn’t about you. It is about them. Nothing is really about you. It also comes up when you start thinking things like “It’s the economy”.

You can tell when you are taking something personally as it usually causes you to react rather than to act. You react in anger if you think someone is taking away your clients. Blaming others doesn’t do anything except make you feel better and it keeps you from looking at yourself and taking responsibility for your feelings and actions.

Taking things personally makes you start not hearing what the other person is really saying or requesting and limits your opportunity for communication. When someone goes to another therapist for whatever reason and you take it personally, it is really setting you up to fail at what you are trying to do.
When we are children we believe the universe revolves around our existence, and when we are adults the system we use to interpret the actions and words of others is based on this same belief.
See more on taking things personally.

The Four Agreements (link to amazon.com)by Don Miguel Ruiz

“Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world.”

“When you take things personally, then you feel offended, and your reaction is to defend your beliefs and create conflicts. You make something big out of something so little, because you have the need to be right and make everyone else wrong”.

Further along the toltec path

“We take things personally when we forget that each person has his own perception of a situation. People do things based on their own needs and desires. Their belief system directs their actions and interpretations of those actions. We can never make another person feel a certain way even if we say something mean or hurtful. ”

Don’t take it personally! Overcoming Rejection, Judgements and Criticism By Elayne Savage, Ph.D.