Building relationships with clients is an art form. It is really the basis for healing. While your techniques may get people in the door with promises of relief from pain and stress, what heals is your ability to be present with another. This is the therapeutic relationship and I would say that it is a sacred part of being a massage therapist but is the least talked about subject in your massage training.
People can learn massage techniques and use those techniques to help others but the thing is that after working with a variety of people you will find that the same technique does not work for all situations. You can also teach 10 massage therapists the same exact technique in the same class and you will get 11 (not a typo) massage therapists whose work all feel different to the same person and of course that effect multiplies by the number of people who are worked on. Each persons touch will differ because of who they are and their ability to be present with the client. Each client will perceive the touch in a different way depending on who they are and what they are thinking/feeling.
Being present means that you are totally focused on the needs of the client, the healing relationship and not on yourself. Your presence requires attention, interest, acceptance, compassion, empathy and a non-judgmental response. While this may seem like what you are doing or may seem easy – the challenge is to do this but be able to feel whatever is coming up in you without acting on it. When you react to a client, you are acting on the basis of your old patterns and beliefs which has nothing to do with the client. This is countertransference and it happens in all relationships. There are two types of countertransference negative and positive. Negative countertransference is when you are reacting on old issues of your own. Positive countertransference is when you can feel your own feelings but not act on them and stay present with the clients process. This requires that you have a certain degree of individuation -the ability to separate your own feelings from what is happening in the client and the ability to feel your feelings without acting on them. Peer supervision and Psychotherapy can help with the process of individuation.
The book “The Psychology of the Body” by Elliott Greene is a great way to get a better understanding of all of these things related to the therapeutic relationship. He explains some of the components such as transference, countertransference and projection. While this is a much needed start for the massage profession, the book talks about it mainly from the aspect of what the client is going through. What is most important is what the massage therapist goes through and the process of learning to be present with a client in order to be of service to massage clients. It isn’t just something you need to understand from a mental aspect. It is something you need to be able to experience internally. The best way to get that experience is through the process of peer supervision.
The other part of the therapeutic relationship requires that the massage therapist be able to create healthy boundaries for this therapeutic relationship to occur within. This involves setting clear policies and procedures around such things as payment, late fees, cancellation fees, length of treatment session, dual relationships, dating clients, being friends with clients to name a few. The clearer your boundaries are in these simple things the more successful your massage practice will be. People will respect you more when you respect yourself and creating boundaries that serve you will show people that you respect yourself.
Related posts:
- The therapeutic relationship I have been doing some research on how the state...
- The therapeutic relationship for massage therapists One of the least talked about concepts in massage school...
- Self care for massage therapists When you learn about self care in massage school or...
- Empathy Empathy is one of the driving forces in a therapeutic...
- Relationship Marketing for Massage Therapists Relationship marketing is about just that – building relationships. Massage...
Thank you very much for this post. I find it helpful to read this kind of in formation to centre myself during the treatments.
I’d like to share my personal experience while being a patient. It is also related to your previous article:
“Effective Massage Therapists Master Their Emotions”
You can read my short story at my blog:
http://balancefacilitator.com/WordPress/2007/08/13/being-a-manual-therapy-patient/
There is a great book at also explores this subject and has various exercises on how to improve your inner relationship with your patient. It is Craniosacral Biodynamics by Franklyn Sills
If you remember Paul Ingraham wrote a very good article on just this subject called “Choose the Therapist, Not the Therapy”
http://saveyourself.ca/articles/choose-the-therapist.php
An excellent article which has often made me question the need for CEU classes in massage. Most classes are technique based, but few are anything about learning about the need for good, healthy relationships and boundaries.