The Need to Fix
I have been obsessed with investigating my need to fix others and always be giving them advice. I came into the massage profession, thinking that is what it would be about. I could become an expert at something I enjoyed and was passionate about- health and pass it onto others.
Little did I know that you can’t make anyone do anything no matter how hard you try….and try I did…
Looking around at the massage profession, it is full of people wanting to “fix” others. The schools also begin by teaching you how to fix others. “Here are some techniques to use and a little information on the anatomy and physiology of the body so now you can go out and fix others…
and then there are the insurance companies requiring that we “fix” clients or they won’t pay for our services. We are required to be able to show that our services is medically necessary and our sessions can show improvement in a clients condition. Please fix this client or they can’t continue to come in for massage unless they want to pay for it themselves.
Fixing implies that something is broken…what if a tendon is strained…is it broken? How did it get that way? What was the person doing that caused the tendon to become strained?
The need to fix is not really a need - it is a strategy. What is the real need beneath the so-called need to fix? Fixing others implies that the other is broken and is in need of our help. Fixing can make us feel more powerful. Fixing others can make us feel needed by others. If we can fix them, they won’t leave us or abandon us. They will always need us. If we fix others - it will make us look good in the eyes of God.
For another article on fixing and resources
When we can honestly look at and address our need to fix others, you will see that it is more about yourself than it is the other person. When we can get to the real need underneath the need to fix, we can then figure out how to get that need met outside of our practice and not through our client interactions. When we can do that we can then stay more present for the client. Presencing is the key to healing. When we can stay present and make clear observations about their condition and avoid diagnosing, healing can happen.
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