Comments on: Transference for Massage Therapists http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/transference-for-massage-therapists/ Massage Therapy Research - The future of the massage profession. Wed, 01 Feb 2012 23:42:28 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3 By: Julie Onofrio http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/transference-for-massage-therapists/comment-page-1/#comment-40103 Julie Onofrio Thu, 21 Apr 2011 03:37:45 +0000 http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/?p=6#comment-40103 It isn't a detachment disorder but attachment issues. Everyone has them to one degree or another I think anyways whether or not people want to admit it or not. It is the same thing that makes you want to see your partners cell phone records and private diaries! It is really the same thing like when you first start to date someone too I think anyways - but I am not a psychologist. I just have done a lot of attachment based therapy myself. I think in a way it is like getting that from your mother in some way and can be healing. Julie It isn’t a detachment disorder but attachment issues. Everyone has them to one degree or another I think anyways whether or not people want to admit it or not. It is the same thing that makes you want to see your partners cell phone records and private diaries! It is really the same thing like when you first start to date someone too I think anyways – but I am not a psychologist. I just have done a lot of attachment based therapy myself. I think in a way it is like getting that from your mother in some way and can be healing.

Julie

]]> By: vlaea2 http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/transference-for-massage-therapists/comment-page-1/#comment-40062 vlaea2 Wed, 20 Apr 2011 05:42:26 +0000 http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/?p=6#comment-40062 Wow. I found this article very intersting. Strangely enough, I found it by typing in "attached to your massage therapist" in the search engine. I've just started getting massages over the past 5 months, and I swear that I'm addicted to them...well...to my therapist. I felt so guitly and strange for feeling attached and/or attracted to her (I haven't yet figured out which). She's nearly 15-20 years older than me, overweight, of a different race, and so many other features that I'm not particularly attracted to, not to mention I'm a woman! I couldn't understand it until now. Last month, I actually searched "Can you be addicted to a massage?" and was relieved to find out that I wasn't the only one. But I still felt like these...thoughts...feelings or whatever weren't healthy because I actually found myself thnking about her and her massages ALL of the time. I even started to set up more appointments even though I did'nt have the budget for it.! (Crazy, I know). So after today's massage, I had to find some kind of justification for my response to her, something besides "maybe it's just that I haven't been touched in a long time." And your site really helped me out. The more I began to read your article, the more I began to think about what part of the massages (and yes, I'm ashamed to say...) aroused and relaxed me the most. Strangely enough, it was the back of my neck, the same place my mother caresses me when she wants to show some kind of physical contact (hugs, kisses and all of that were never big in my household. It actually makes most of the members of my family feel uncomforatble). These quick, little, drive-by taps always relaxed me, even though they only last for mere seconds. And I've always wanted her to allow her hand to linger there, but just never knew how to ask. The only times I was ever really willing to ask and she was willing to comply was when I had a migraine. The warmth of her hand just seemed to make all of the pain go away. So I guess, in terms of my therapist, I'm paying her so I feel completely justified in asking her to focus on my neck and sholders, which I do ALL of the time. In my twisted mind, I somehow thought my neck was just my "special spot" and never attributed it to my interactions with my mom. But who knows? Maybe this idea of transference is overated, as stated by one post, and I'm buying into it because it's 12:30 in the morning and I'm stressed and tired. I don't know...I guess I'll have to do some research on it a little more (thanks for the book list). At least I don't feel as weird about having this strong desire just to be around my therapist. I have a little more knowledge that will help me combat this so I don't make a fool of myself and/or embarrass my therapist, if it hasn't happened already. Thanks everyone, I really enjoyed reading the article and your comments. And please note that I did NOT intend to write this much, but everything just seemed to...well...spill out as I began typing. Am I just crazy? Should I see a counselor about having a detachement disorder or something? Vlaea2 Wow. I found this article very intersting. Strangely enough, I found it by typing in “attached to your massage therapist” in the search engine. I’ve just started getting massages over the past 5 months, and I swear that I’m addicted to them…well…to my therapist. I felt so guitly and strange for feeling attached and/or attracted to her (I haven’t yet figured out which). She’s nearly 15-20 years older than me, overweight, of a different race, and so many other features that I’m not particularly attracted to, not to mention I’m a woman! I couldn’t understand it until now. Last month, I actually searched “Can you be addicted to a massage?” and was relieved to find out that I wasn’t the only one. But I still felt like these…thoughts…feelings or whatever weren’t healthy because I actually found myself thnking about her and her massages ALL of the time. I even started to set up more appointments even though I did’nt have the budget for it.! (Crazy, I know). So after today’s massage, I had to find some kind of justification for my response to her, something besides “maybe it’s just that I haven’t been touched in a long time.” And your site really helped me out. The more I began to read your article, the more I began to think about what part of the massages (and yes, I’m ashamed to say…) aroused and relaxed me the most. Strangely enough, it was the back of my neck, the same place my mother caresses me when she wants to show some kind of physical contact (hugs, kisses and all of that were never big in my household. It actually makes most of the members of my family feel uncomforatble). These quick, little, drive-by taps always relaxed me, even though they only last for mere seconds. And I’ve always wanted her to allow her hand to linger there, but just never knew how to ask. The only times I was ever really willing to ask and she was willing to comply was when I had a migraine. The warmth of her hand just seemed to make all of the pain go away. So I guess, in terms of my therapist, I’m paying her so I feel completely justified in asking her to focus on my neck and sholders, which I do ALL of the time. In my twisted mind, I somehow thought my neck was just my “special spot” and never attributed it to my interactions with my mom. But who knows? Maybe this idea of transference is overated, as stated by one post, and I’m buying into it because it’s 12:30 in the morning and I’m stressed and tired. I don’t know…I guess I’ll have to do some research on it a little more (thanks for the book list). At least I don’t feel as weird about having this strong desire just to be around my therapist. I have a little more knowledge that will help me combat this so I don’t make a fool of myself and/or embarrass my therapist, if it hasn’t happened already. Thanks everyone, I really enjoyed reading the article and your comments. And please note that I did NOT intend to write this much, but everything just seemed to…well…spill out as I began typing. Am I just crazy? Should I see a counselor about having a detachement disorder or something?

Vlaea2

]]> By: Julie Onofrio http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/transference-for-massage-therapists/comment-page-1/#comment-23003 Julie Onofrio Wed, 02 Jun 2010 20:14:27 +0000 http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/?p=6#comment-23003 The feelings that he has are real. I think that it is actually in the transference that healing occurs for both the client and the massage therapist. You can't just say stop feeling that way. I could probably say a lot more but without knowing the details (is he giving the MT your life savings! or does the MT feel like he is a son), I would say it is best to address it directly. In transference, one person has to be the 'adult'. There is transference in every relationship and it is probably what is causing the issues in your relationship with your partner. We all just want the deep unconditional love of our mother/father! Have you considered seeing a counselor/psychologist together to try to understand it all more? That's a tough one! Not meaning to offend you in any way. Julie The feelings that he has are real. I think that it is actually in the transference that healing occurs for both the client and the massage therapist. You can’t just say stop feeling that way. I could probably say a lot more but without knowing the details (is he giving the MT your life savings! or does the MT feel like he is a son), I would say it is best to address it directly. In transference, one person has to be the ‘adult’. There is transference in every relationship and it is probably what is causing the issues in your relationship with your partner. We all just want the deep unconditional love of our mother/father! Have you considered seeing a counselor/psychologist together to try to understand it all more?

That’s a tough one! Not meaning to offend you in any way.

Julie

]]> By: JosephNYC http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/transference-for-massage-therapists/comment-page-1/#comment-10762 JosephNYC Fri, 13 Mar 2009 17:54:13 +0000 http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/?p=6#comment-10762 To pat deas. You are missing the point. The article isn't saying that people go to a message therapist because they missed out on something from their youth. They are saying that transference happens unconsciously. No one intends to go to one for it to happen. I see a chiropractor regularly and it happened to me. He massages my back and I never want it to end, leave his office and I do want to follow him around. I couldn't believe how spot-on this article was. To pat deas. You are missing the point. The article isn’t saying that people go to a message therapist because they missed out on something from their youth. They are saying that transference happens unconsciously. No one intends to go to one for it to happen. I see a chiropractor regularly and it happened to me. He massages my back and I never want it to end, leave his office and I do want to follow him around. I couldn’t believe how spot-on this article was.

]]> By: Julie Onofrio http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/transference-for-massage-therapists/comment-page-1/#comment-5732 Julie Onofrio Thu, 09 Oct 2008 06:37:38 +0000 http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/?p=6#comment-5732 They don't go get a massage thinking that they missed out on something in childhood. The whole transference process it totally unconscious on the part of the client (and most people for that matter) yet it is a part of every relationship - friends, partners, family members, coworkers etc but they call it projection or drama in other relationships. They can come to idolize massage therapists just because of giving a good massage. Read some of the signs of transference in some of the articles and books mentioned that should be the core of every massage school. They don’t go get a massage thinking that they missed out on something in childhood. The whole transference process it totally unconscious on the part of the client (and most people for that matter) yet it is a part of every relationship – friends, partners, family members, coworkers etc but they call it projection or drama in other relationships.

They can come to idolize massage therapists just because of giving a good massage. Read some of the signs of transference in some of the articles and books mentioned that should be the core of every massage school.

]]> By: pat deas http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/transference-for-massage-therapists/comment-page-1/#comment-5721 pat deas Thu, 09 Oct 2008 00:49:05 +0000 http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/?p=6#comment-5721 you have gone a little overboard with your views of transference! many people come for a massage truly to relieve physical tension, not because they missed out something in childhood, then idolize the therapist because of great massages. you have gone a little overboard with your views of transference! many people come for a massage truly to relieve physical tension, not because they missed out something in childhood, then idolize the therapist because of great massages.

]]> By: Catherine Roe http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/transference-for-massage-therapists/comment-page-1/#comment-3394 Catherine Roe Mon, 11 Aug 2008 14:53:52 +0000 http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/?p=6#comment-3394 Hi Julia, What makes you blog content so special and unique are posts on subject like transference or self awareness for massage therapist - It is great to be able to develop oneself, to grow and still be practicing - Thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience through that perspective - I added your widget to my blog and would appreciate a comment on any of my post - http://www.amatouch.blogspot.com Catherine Hi Julia,

What makes you blog content so special and unique are posts on subject like transference or self awareness for massage therapist – It is great to be able to develop oneself, to grow and still be practicing – Thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience through that perspective -

I added your widget to my blog and would appreciate a comment on any of my post -
http://www.amatouch.blogspot.com

Catherine

]]> By: Rebecca Mauldin http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/transference-for-massage-therapists/comment-page-1/#comment-2618 Rebecca Mauldin Wed, 02 Jul 2008 04:14:09 +0000 http://thebodyworker.com/massage_blog/?p=6#comment-2618 Thanks for another great post Julia. Understanding transference is critical in understanding our client relationships. I love that you said, "Transference is what heals." I'd like to add that exploring our countertransference is where our own personal healing processes can be engaged. When we are willing to delve into our countertransference in our therapeutic relationships, we're walking through a gateway for transformation and healing ourselves. Thanks for another great post Julia. Understanding transference is critical in understanding our client relationships. I love that you said, “Transference is what heals.” I’d like to add that exploring our countertransference is where our own personal healing processes can be engaged. When we are willing to delve into our countertransference in our therapeutic relationships, we’re walking through a gateway for transformation and healing ourselves.

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